17/06 - Always be sure

Today's bad: got woken at nearly 8 by bf saying my manager had apparently called. Turns out that, instead of the late shift as planned, I was expected to work the early shift - 'as agreed'. Considering we hadn't agreed anything, I was pretty pissed. I did know he'd made a planning mistake and had to ask another colleague-assistant to work today, but never had we agreed that I'd be the one to change shifts, nor did this possibility even get mentioned once. So I arrived at 8.30 and, thankfully, he realized as well he should have called me the night before (hence why he has my landline number!) instead of just sending a text, which I didn't see until this morning. He wasn't sure I'd seen it - well, obviously not. That's why I gave another number to call me on at times I know I'll hear it (or bf will).

End result: I'm tired, I have chest cramps, my body feels as though it's coming apart at the seams, and I still have three days to go - on top of this, tomorrow the highest hierarchy is passing through. Not that I'm stressing. Quite the contrary, really: I'm doing what I can already. If I'm deemed unfit to work there, then I'm deemed unfit. As I would tell anyone who'd care to know: when you've had to face the possibility of your own death, accepted it, and survive, you can't fear much anymore; except for the passing of time, and the impossibility to achieve my own personal goals. How am I to fear much of anything, when I've stopped fearing death? Thus, I'm pretty chill about tomorrow. Que sera sera, as they say.

Today's good: minimal writing, as I'm exhausted, sick, and have more and more difficulty thinking. My back's hurting alot, too. Which I guess isn't good XD

Note to Future Self: que sera sera.

PS: Manga Studio 5 is SO MUCH FUN.

Those doll-functions are very helpful for someone like me who can draw, but fails completely at anatomy. Oh, joy. ;.;