30/07 - Return to thought?

Today's bad: still really tired. Tried to go through the day without a coffee, but major headache said no to that. And, yes, that could be a withdrawal symptom, as I've been having too much coffee (again!) lately. Plus, time of the month... On top of an active job, it all sorta crushed me. Oh well. By tomorrow, I should be good again. I can tell the lack of morning coffee (replaced by purifying tea) was a step the right way.

Today's good: I haven't gotten to my own writing yet, but, I made a character for the roleplay I signed up for. There's something very titillating about having no real limitation in the kind of character you can make - like the good ol' days of RPing that, I feel, I do have missed. I plan on making a second character (a reformed executioner because fun! :D ), but here's my first one:

She's kinda very super loosely based on my Kassandra in that, years ago, when I was still pretty much a newbie (with tons of personal issues), I'd had her be a demon whose form was something spidery. Oh, and, she was known as the 'black widow'. And, yeah... Deidre is basically a mix of Kassy's looks (except with blue eyes, Kass's were green when she was still human), of her temper before she became a Vampire (... my own characters are so messed up XD), and the spider's there because they scare and fascinate me and omg Cashew the spider. Seriously. Best idea I had all day. XD

Now to find time to draw Deidre... (by the way, Deidre? Yes, based on Daedra. Elder Scrolls ftw)

Note to Future Self: time now to go kill off some characters for plot's sake << XD;

29/07 - Gaming heaven

Today's bad: still tired, which is getting annoying. It also doesn't seem like I'll be doing anything productive. Games have taken over my life again @.@

Today's good: finished ep4 of Life is Strange, which is one of the better games I've played in a while. But damn that cliffhanger...

Note to Future Self: yes we're boring. That's fatigued gamers for you.

Late 28/07 - Snore

The day's bad: didn't feel much like working. Been tired, summer's starting to get on my nerves, and haven't gotten any creativity done.

The day's good: Life is Strange's ep4 is out ^______________^

Note to Future Self: coffee. Less of it.

27/07 - 1000 words

Today's bad:

Today's good: 

Note to Future Self: 

26/07 - Still tired

Today's bad: as the title says... Not really in the mood for work tomorrow. Nerves still on edge.

Today's good: I arranged my stitching skeins. It took about three hours. Turns out I have about 300 of them.

All sorted out by number. Now I'm ready to startbthe Zelda stitch ^^

Note to Future Self: take a rest.

25/07 - Endings

Today's bad: still so damn tired, despite sleeping for 9 hours. My brain's gonna need another night to recover.

Today's good: finished Persona 4 without realizing. Alas, I apparently got one of 3 bad endings 1nd, smart as I am, I saved over with a 'new cycle' file. Considering how disappointed I am with the ending (understandably I guess), I might have to play it again. Ugh. e.e

Still, I finished it. That's always a good feelz, even if the ending sucked. XD

Note to Future Self: missing the game already. Such good characters.

Late 24/07 - New living quarters

The day's bad: so exhausted I was falling asleep at the register at times. At least, my brain was falling asleep, I was just trying to keep my prickling eyes open.

The day's good: came home to the wonderful surprise to discover our new sofa had not only already arived, but was also already built by bf and my dad. It's gorgeous. And so comfortable. And the living room seems brighter. And just... yay, all around.

Note to Future Self: still that self typing. XD

Late 23/07 - Good day

The day's bad: exhaustion.

The day's good: on the one hand, it seems the issues I still had at work with one of my colleagues are over. From one day to the next, she's friendly again, she talks to me again, as though there never was a problem to begin with. Whatever happened, whatever the problem was, I'm just relieved we can functiln normally again. It is a bit hard for me to trust this sudden turnaround but, as she doesn't strike me as a hypocrite, I'll choose to trust it. Besides, trust is much more comfortable. Still wonder wtf the entire issue was about.

On the other hand, we went out to the evening market with a couple of good friends and ended up going to the Chinese restaurant XD this entire trip was not planned to begin with, but it did a hella good ^_________^

Note to Future Self: technically, it's already future self typing, so.

22/07 - Ce matin, un lapin...

Today's bad: tired. Not enough sleep. The usual.

Today's good: my baby's hooooooooooome :D

And the problem was fixed for far cheaper than feared, so all is well ^^ I got my freedom back :D (and bf gets to sleep again when I have the early shift lol)

Note to Future Self:

21/07 - Boring I guess

Today's bad: well, I spent all day on Persona 4, which wasn't the plan, but... I guess I needed the rest. Three early shifts coming up!

Today's good: did some cleaning in the form of reading the 20 or so tv guides I've been hoarding since at least March. Hence Persona and its turn-based action XD

Note to Future Self: one of those days...

Late 20/07 - Yeah. Nope.

The day's bad: most tiring workday yet. Didn't sleep enough to boot. X.x

The day's good: getting home, basically. And going to bed in the evening. XD

Note to Future Self: yeah. Nope.

19/07 - Emancipation

Today's bad: aside from some tiredness (heat? Lack of vitamins?), today marks the day I officially renounce any attempts at bonding with the French side of bf's family. He's off to a barbecue for his aunt's 60th birthday, I'm here at home, content, that I don't have to keep pretending anymore. I don't know whether the truth will have been told or not, and it makes little difference to me: what matters is that I made my point overzealously clear to his parents about what the term 'family' means to me. It was honestly about damn time. I understand how people with siblings have a very bloodliney opinion on the matter; to me, family are the people (and creatures!) who accept you for who you are. This is something I have felt on his mother's side, but not on his father's - and it's gotten worse to a point I no longer feel bf's own father is a part of that family. 

So, I am curious as to how it is going/will have gone. For me, it is another day off, one I desperately need after a very long day at work yesterday and a cacophony of tourists and kids ripping my nerves to shreds. All in all, it's still good stress. XD

Today's good: I must start by saying I beat a tough boss in Persona 4, because the most important thing I have to mention for today is this:

Bf left for his family gathering, and somehow returned about 15 minutes later with... flowers for me. Gorgeous flowers for me. I could've cried, really (just didn't because I'm a hard-ass << ). It was so spontaneous and thoughtful and gods those colours are superb. The cat is courtesy his own curiousity.

I'm bad with gratitude because vulnerablity and all that shit (why yes, I do have issues, thanks for asking :D ), so here's my way of saying it:

Flowers yellow, flowers true

Draped in purple, regal hue

Through these words, my heart laid bare

You are the one, my love sincere

... aaaaand now I'll go write. Stories. XD

Note to Future Self: written words are better than no words. One day, the lingering walls will fall, but what oh what remains their power source?

18/07 - On my mind

Today's bad: really long, tiring day at work. Barely got away from the register. So many people x.x

Today's good: coffee in bed, Split Second Velocity, and omg good food. I love being able to eat all sorts of food we never bought because they made me sick. Food quality's high where I work. It's actually lots of fun ^^

Note to Future Self: to close this chapter for you, here's urbandictionary's definition of family:
"people you love and love you back, not neccessarily blood or biological, but you trust them and they trust you, and they take care of you and you take care of them."

No amount of guilt-tripping is worth believing in anything less than this definition. Remember this.

17/07 - Truth be told

Today's bad: somehow dreamt about my old job. I was living in a store really ressembling it, but it was closed because well, bankruptcy. And then people came who wanted to shop, and I told them the store no longer existed, and they pointed out all the stuff that was still there. So I figured, hell, I can just sell them some of the remaining stuff. ... I think this means I'm still stuck in that past. XD

Today's good: today was a good day for supplies shopping ^_______^

Got 30% off everything at bf's aunt's store ^^ yay sales! And having a creative person in my extended family, who owns such a store :D

Note to Future Self: principles vs pressure; you've come too far not to be true to yourself anymore. In the long run, the short pain based on truthful reasons is far more beneficial than the long hurt born of lies and forced deceit. You have always got a choice.

Late 16/07 - Bit of a blur

The day's bad: not sleeping enough. Too much coffee, again, but I skept sufficiently to be able to work. Just, not to work on my writing ._____.

The day's good: sadly, all I recall is getting through some levels of Bubble Witch Saga 2. .... yes, this is oh so much le sad.

Oh, and, it's not specific to this day, but I may start roleplaying online again. In fact, I've already signed up to the forum XD I'm a bit scared it might interfere with my writing but, on the other hand, I'm really looking forard to interacting with other people again. I think it might actually be beneficial for my writing ^^

Note to Future Self: how many times need I say to write your posts the day itself? You know you forget most of it after sleeping XE

15/07 - Cats and dreams

Today's bad: dreamt about our lost cat. Again. I miss the little head-butting lazy ass :/

Today's good: my favourite place in the whole wide world:

This is where I plan to spend my day. In another time and space and universe. Need to get away for a while.

Note to Future Self: enough chattin', time for writin'!

14/07 - Pff

Today's bad: frustration growing; not enough alone time; starting to feel grr; need writes.

Today's good: Silent Hill 3's on its way ^__________^

Note to Future Self: better luck next day.

13/07 - Chill

Today's bad: not getting to my pc ~.~

Today's good: watching BBT

Note to Future Self: unnoteworthy.

12/07 - Potato

Today's bad: 4 hour drive total. Way too much.

Today's good: couch found.

Note to Future Self: two weeks!

11/07 - Day off

Today's bad: nothing really :)

Today's good: went couch-shopping, found a really nice one I can't wait to watch Tv on, and I'ma get Silent Hill 3 at last :D all is well in the world!

Oh and, I doodled in the car while bf drove:

Not too shabby for moving-vehicle-art XD

Note to Future Self: it's a cat, not a charity.

Late 10/07 - Good, good

The day's bad: mostly fatigue, as usual. Oh and, the cat lost his voice.

The day's good: good workday, good afternoon watching the UK Borrowers movie with my dad, and that's about all I remember.

Note to Future Self: write these sooner, one day makes a difference.

09/07 - Interesting day?

Today's bad: Pc didn't want to make internet work. One reboot later, here I am XD

I'm also very interested to see how things will go at work today, and especially tomorrow. I'm quite calm again after a good night's rest, and also quite ready to take no more bullshit. I plan to stay neutral and not get angry anymore (which is when ego can really help << XD), so I'm curious. Got several replies ready, should I need them.

Today's good: I dunno; I feel like drawing, because I do have some residual GRR that needs evacuation. However, I'd also like to write, and play Diablo, and I have like 3 hours total. One hour each is so not gonna happen XD

I guess the best good is just that I feel fine. Not so angry anymore - and, more importantly, not afraid. There was a time, 20 years ago, when I would probably be hiding somewhere, unwilling to set foot outside and to have to go to a place I knew was bad for me. Now, I'm ready for action babeh, let 'er come at me. It's just a shame it's got to come to this for no freaking reason. I'm not responsible for another's issues in life, nor do I accept to be victimized. But I also don't want this to influence my life, or my job. I like my job and other colleagues too much for that. At some point, this is going to stop, and I just hope I will be able to contain my rage until then. I don't like people using others for their own cruel benefit, and that's what that colleague is doing with another, and what is pissing me off the most.

Justice, dammit.

Note to Future Self: the Dragon has taken flight.

08/07 - Hypocrisy

Today's bad: I'm done with this one colleague. Next time she tries to harass me, she's getting a figurative fist in her face. The worst part about this all is that I've done nothing to induce such behaviour - aside from being friendly and enjoying her company. Bad me! Bad!

Today's good: I could use a nice relaxing bath. I've seriously had it with today.

Note to Future Self: rise; you're a Dragon.

07/07 - A bit of normalcy

Today's bad: having to catch up for two days of missed blogging ô.o and still a bit of tiredness, but sleeping 10 hours feels good XD

Today's good: someone asked me to use one of my stitches to make a gift for their friend ^^ I find that very honouring :)

Also, done a bit of writing. It's not even 6 PM and I'm ready for sleep XD

Note to Future Self: sleep good.

Late 06/07 - Fun!

The day's bad: exhaustion kicked in somewhere around noon. I had real trouble staying awake and alert at the register, my brain was just shutting down after so many days of lack of sleep, on top of a VERY heavy weekend. So many customers. So little time to move or even drink. But, I survived. Well. :)

Also, I forgot my home keys. Had to spend the afternoon at the parents (which was good, helped my mom with her Diablo character, ate a meal I hadn't eaten in years (which comes down to pasta with cheese, but the dad-version XD), and watched a good horror movie (Oculus) in awesome HD (I want a 100hz tv). I guess this fits in with the good XD

The day's good: surprise request from one close friend, asking when we wanted to meet up to go to the Chinese restaurant - which I translated as, 'hey we'd like to go today, are you free?'. I discovered I was really not far off XD we had such a blast despite all being tired.

And, it's felt good to be called 'family' again. Not going to go into detail because there'd be so much to say, but there's a bond that had been broken and is well on the mend. I actually already miss 'em, that says a lot XD

Note to Future Self: whoda thunk it.

Late 05/07 - What the hell even happened that day

The day's bad: exhaustion. Majorly. Was falling asleep at work, at some point.

The day's good: heat wave is GONE OMGYES.

Note to Future Self: no need.

04/07 - HOT

Today's bad: heat + lack of sleep =

Today's good: Diablo 3 makes me happy. Zunimassa set ftw!

Note to Future Self: 

03/07 - Still hot e.e

Today's bad: little sleep, growing fatigue, forced socialness... fneh. e.e

Today's good: playing on Torment II in Diablo 3 which, for me, is pretty huge. I was on Torment I and realized I was breezing through too easily, so I upped the challenge... I still breeze through the monsters, but they breeze through me, too XD first time in forever since I got killed. I was like, WUT, totally in shock XD but it's worth it. More XP, better loot, and just being challenged is a lot of fun.

Note to Future Self: too hot for anything. Gaming = good.

02/07 - Still hot

Today's bad: for once, it's not coffee keeping me awake at night XD

Also, I discovered just before leaving for work that my scooter's leaking oil and therefore needs repairs. Again. Sigh.

Today's good: bf's got a job interview this evening! Here's to a potential new adventure XD

Note to Future Self: tout vient à point pour qui sait attendre.

01/07 - Feelin' hot hot hot e.e

Today's bad: it's barely 9 and it's 23,5°C in the living room, after a night of complete darkness. I'm thinking opf closing the shutters again, just to preserve myself from more heat XD and I was thinking of calling the garage to see if I could bring in my scooter for repairs, but... do I really want to drive in this heat? Not really. So, chances are I won't. Considering I found I've still got oil, it's not a necessity to go.

Today's good: feeling refreshed after a 12-hour sleeping marathon, which was only paused after briefly waking up to bf's alarm clock (but I'd already slept 9 hours by then, so. XD). You know you're tired when you go to bed at 9 PM and fall asleep nearly right away despite the heat!

The plans for today are to finish Isaru's first story arc (so very damn close! 3 pages left that I'm totally gonna delete as I got a few ideas yesterday evening just before falling asleep XD), begin Ine's (dun dun dun... yeah, you so don't know why the dun XD), and just try and not melt into a puddle - which reminds me I better get a bottle of water handy. And likely start off with a lil' Diablo 3 because Witch Doctor X3

Note to Future Self: aux armes, citoyens XO

You get old art from 2007. Because damn, it's funny. We need funny. XD