Seriously: I need to place a reminder, somewhere, that when I feel like crap it means I need to WRITE. Or I could cross-stich something. I dunno. But it needs to be visible, somewhere.
Today was another unemployment agency day. I didn't learn much, but I did get to talk to my new counselor today and discovered that: y'know, she does understand me. And with that, and what I'd mentioned earlier, my mind seems to be switching back to a more relative approach to life and all it entails.
Also: for some reason, Google isn't giving pertinent results. Because today, at the group session (we had laptops and a small recess), when I searched 'Nocturnaliss Patreon' on their avg-protected-search engine, I got completely different results. Not only did my Patreon page show up, but I discovered someone had made a reddit and posted to the 'promote your Patreon' feed (I think I know who it is, so I'll have to inquire). Tried it now on Bing, and it gives those pertinent results as well. But not Facebook, which Google does show. I'm like... wtf how can I fix it? o.O
But discovering how well she understands me (she filled in some forms and therein mentioned, by herself, that I'm a writer and my goal is to live from my craft!!! When I saw it, I told her I was about to cry because she's the first person to have understood this), and that someone made a 'Support Nocturnaliss' account on reddit just... made my day.
I honestly don't know what the future holds, but I think I've been too tightly holding on - to my desires, to my fears, to my refusals... that I somehow just created this negative 'brainjuice' for said brain to stew in.
So.
Well, the aim is and will remain getting that Patreon to be succesful. But success can't be measured in money alone: its success will be that I get to share my works, that people get to enjoy it, and that their support will mean I can just give them more of what they (will come to (let's be blindly optimistic)) love. And that said, I should really re-write my Patreon, yet again, to reflect that. Eternally indecisive. XD
Oh and, in other news: I drew. It started with a tiny redline, then I made a bigger one, then I did more, then I just drew a new sketch, and when the friend who I was helping out said 'you have to upload to DA!', I thought: yeah but no it's not nearly good enough! ... and then the below happened.
And he was like: I should commission you for the rest of my OCs! And I wondered what I had done ;.; XD (frankly though, I'll certainly revisit his characters because 1. they're fun and have great detailing 2. I really need to draw more XD).
Let's just go forward and see where we end up :)
(oh and, I stopped drinking coffee. Might be for today, might be for a few days, might be for longer, but I need to purge my system. I think the issue is that it improves brainpower but at the same time creates a flood of thoughts that exhaust me. So, physiological experiment here <<)
And now I have cat on my lap resting on my left arm so typing hard. The end. XD
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