It's almost the end of the year! Still so much to do! And as the year comes to a close, like every year, I am starting to think about what has passed and what is yet to come. At this point I feel completely torn - torn between the desire for financial stability that will come, for at least a year, by attending the course starting in February, and the absolute need to pursue my true career, writing, despite the financial uncertainty this would bring.
What would life be without compromises though. XD
As this fiery passion burns away my desire to be part of 'normal society' a little more every day, rationale reminds me that now is not the time to throw away what we have at last started to build. Rather, now is the time to build upon it, and find a way to unite the 'socially non-acceptable work' with the pursuit of financial stability. At this point in my literary evolution, I feel I can say at last that I am good at what I do, that I do have things to tell, and that there's no shame in seeking to subsist financially through my craft. After all, I want to offer something worthwhile. The positive comments I've received thus far are an encouragement to keep striving for better. At some point though, I'll have to make a choice, and as I know what that choice will be, it better be viable when the time comes.
I have stated before that I want to give back what I've received. This is true. What this giving back entails, however, becomes clearer every day.
So what does this mean? Well I'll be selling out XD not. Concretely, I'll be doing some huge editing work on several stories, starting with the one I think will be most interesting for readers, and it'll get published online eventually. I have ideas for an app that may or may not be feasible. I want this to be a complete experience, one that keeps getting invested in. After all, this is my life's work :)
2017 will be a hard year where I'll have to juggle opposing needs, all the while paving the road towards the future I have pursued for many years now. It is the year of Death - of transformation; a cold, dreary year to be sure, but one from which will sprout something magnificent, as long as I keep the soil fertile.
And this said, let me introduce the last theme for this year, most appropriate to start the renewing cycle of XIII,
Zool
Myes he still needs some work, but oh well.
Who is Zool?
Ah, the question I hate answering because TMI XD
Well, to put it simply: Zool is the incarnation of Death. Nothing more, nothing less. He is the absolute end at the road, the one who sends the dead on their final journey. He is a fair and impartial judge, and takes no side except for his own - because Death knows everything, and Death is never wrong.
Yet Death is not without flaws. As a sentient being, Zool is one to make decisions for himself, to decide on the right course of action. Because of his implacable determination, Zool is seen by some as an arrogant bastard, sometimes even as a fool (for only fools never change their mind). Yet Zool always goes his own way, no matter the cost, as he not only believes but knows he is always right - even when he isn't.
This stubbornness will come at costs too high to pay, even for him.
Zool and the Novel
Oh, the things I have planned for his grand entrance X3 because yes, he will be in it. He has to be (and not only because I love him to itty bitty bits (and he hates me oh so much << XD)). Zool is a pivotal element in the story, one I need to conclude what will be a dire situation. Beyond his appearance in the story proper though, Zool is a pivotal element in the world itself - because of his status, and because of his personality... and even because of the few people he's acquainted with.
In this world, even Death is capable of changing. Granted, he does so in minor ways (in his perspective, he doesn't change at all, ever), but they are notable enough to change the greater master plan that is life itself.
There are many forces at play here, all of which vying for existence. Centuries of struggles, of evolution, of construction, all to come to a halt once the house of cards loses its foundations. Life is a question mark that leaves all of its answers open. Whether he will be an answer still remains to be seen. What is known, however, is that there is no life without death, nor death without life.
Hopefully this was cryptic enough for you ;)
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