Week 11 - Good riddance, 2015

I don't even know where to start.

Fact is: 2015 sucked. Majorly. Which I think I mentioned in my previous post XD seriously though, it's worthy of mentioning again. I hate 2015. Glad it's nearly over.

What I hate most about this year is that I've had to - or, rather, I just did - put nearly everything creative on hold. At some point during the summer, the workhours and stress became crushing and, with no vacation in sight until the next year, I kinda just gave up on 'life', and focussed on surviving. It's only been since last week, when my workhours were slightly cut, that I've started being able to breathe again. And, with a vacation coming up in four days, I'm feeling good. Not great, but good: still have three out of six workdays to plow through. Let it be said, writing has become a chore for me. Even this post is demanding more brainpower than what I have left. This makes me so, so sad.

As has happened before, I let my job take over my life. I worked too many hours (did not really have a choice (though I say you always do, but the choice is to not be a dick towards your colleagues)), invested myself enormously, and in the end I don't even know if I'll get a real contract this year. A part of me does wonder if I really want one anyway - the other part realizes it's being overworked and basically sick and tired of working in itself that's making me say that: let's see what a week off will do, first, to improve my outlook. For me, the important thing is that my outside job allows for time and energy to do my inside job. So far... I'm just disappointed with everything, especially myself (although myself would argue that she put all the energy she had, and more, into this year, and I should shut up and start being positive << )

So, positive. Let's be positive.

... yeah, no. The year has sucked. XD seriously though, the only positive I can take out of this year is that I have work, and vacation time, and awesome colleagues, and had a great X-mas at the parents'-in-law with my parents too, and New Year's Eve will be here at home with parents and closest friends and it will be awesome. And, I cross-stitched some. And that seems like so little, considering a year is 365 days long. I don't know. I just want 2015 to be over with. (oh, and, nearly forgetting the Within Temptation concert dear god how shameful e________e )

I don't know if it shows that I have a hard time writing. I really do. I'm so out of practice. And tired. But, whatcha gonna do.

Also, I'm doing a personal take on the suckage of 2015, but, world events have heavilly contributed to this year being an awful one.

With all this said, I did manage to finish the year with some artisticness.

Writing: still nothing. This will be a hard one to pick up again, as I've basically stopped caring.

Art: did a drawing for the group KamiFrenchCreation over on Deviantart, for Secret Santa ^^

Really happy with how it turned out, and my Santee liked it too :D what I'm disappointed about though is that I haven't gotten my gift yet. At this point, I don't even care anymore. I'd even rather get no gift, as the upset will make it hard to thank the Secret 'Santa'. Btw: I'm also upset for the other people who haven't gotten their gift yet, and those who made one that hasn't even been seen yet (one exception being that a person who owes art has been online, and not bothered to let the group know how late they'll be). Yeah yeah, joyful holidays and all that crap << XD

Other: time's been limited, so this is the final pic for 2015:

Challenge: Yeah no not this week.

Week 10 - And thus the year almost ends...

Let's be honest: this year has sucked, oh so hard, creativity-wise. Aside from working on my cross-stitch, I've been at a complete creative standstill. I've felt exhausted for months. Gotten tired of the way my world looks. Little bit of life-hating thrown into the mix.

As of this week, my workhours were reduced after requesting it. Going from 28 to 24, though financially a dumb move, is a smart move on all accounts. After all, once you're spent (and it's gotten increasingly clear I am spent with how many times I've hurt myself the last few weeks), once you break, you're done. That's financially worse. So, thinking long-term, we went for the 24-hour week which, considering my job's physically and mentally demanding nature, was a necessary choice. I can't keep living like I'm not. I've given enough.

This said, my 10-days vacation is starting on new year's day ^______^ YAY VACATION OMG. And I plan on asking for some more in March and in June, because dear god I seriously deserve it (and, y'know, vacation time needs to get used).

Taking a little moment right here to say how long it's been since I sat down and took the time to write. Even if it is a blogpost. As said, this year has sucked. Majorly. And I don't know what 2016 will look like, but I think it'll largely depend on how much space I allow my job to take up in my personal life. I'm not in an emotional situation right now to judge how well I'll fare, so... We'll be getting where we want to get, one step at a time.

This end of year, starting yesterday, is all about setting the year I want into motion. Wait, what, yesterday?

That's right.

Yesterday was Within Temptation's Black X-mas concert in Tilburg, Holland, which we attended along with my bf's quickly-becoming-best-friend.

D'aww. Mine's the left one XD

It was so. Fucking. Great. To see my absolute favorite band perform live. For X-mas. Which was gothirific.

And I looked awesome, thanks to my oh so talented mother-in-law who managed to sew me a costume fitting the dresscode ('dark creatures') within a week!

Come, Children, and embrace the dark. X3

I can't begin to express -especially without freaking crying XD;- how much this evening has meant to me. How much it means to have watched Within Temptation live, to have had their music literally drum through my body and soul, to watch their energy and their love for their fans and their art filling the entire scene. I feel envigorated again, happy, ready to get that soul's blood pumping again through the music that has been with me since their breakthrough in 2001. Their music is quite literally my soulfood. I need it. And having gotten some live energy, accompanied by my two cute lil' Wannabe-Vampires, has made life good again.

So, with 2016 in sight, what have I accomplished this past week and a half?

Writing: no writing - but, as often, much thinking, and watching characters talk, hypothetical scenes unfold, and the world evolve into a yet darker version of what it once was. Necromancers play a great part in my story, and their influence has kept spreading in my mind from town to town, from corrupted rulers to greedy opportunists, with the world's asphyxiation as result. It's a dark, dark place to be in, with few sparks of light remaining. Dark, dark place. ... damn do I like these places << XD

Drawing: well, I've gotten a sketch done today for the Secret Santa over on a group I'm a part of on Deviantart - meaning I can't share it. I'm really late starting it, as is my bad habit, but at the very least I know what I want to go for, so I should be done in time for x-mas :)

Other: very little evolution on the stitching part, so I'm not going to share it for now. Nothing else to report.

Challenge: ehh I'm gonna refrain from issuing a challenge for the good reason I have a 6-day workweek coming up, from 26th to 31st, and I have still so much to get ready for the end of year party at our house. So I guess getting ready for that is my challenge XD

Week 8,5 - Where does time fly to?

Shitty week. Leave it to me to manage to hurt myself the day before having two days off.

In one word: OW.

I ran into metallic bars by the register on Friday noon. This is what it looks like today:

It spread every which way. I can walk almost normally now. And that's that.

I was going to make a far more elaborate post, but the fact is I just don't have the energy. This sums me up right now:

So onto the other stuff:

Started 'work' on the dress. It looks like I'll be delegating all the work to my mother-in-law. She at least knows what she's doing.

Evolutioooooooon.

Now I'm trying to get Sims 2 to work, as I've finally upgraded my dying Windows XP to Windows 10. So far, so good. Just can't get the game to install properly.Found some solutions, but haven't gotten them to work... Thankfully, I'd copied everything before changing Windowses. Even the installed files. Which might be my only salvation. We shall see.

And that is all for now. PC needs a reboot, as my EA uninstallation is stuck on 1% e____________e