Arrived on the day itself, which is basically OMG considering this was a preorder placed months ago.
You know what made it all the better? Discovering, as the DLC code didn't work, that I'd gotten it four days early <<
... I've squeed (and gloated, it's true) so much I got on bf's nerves I think XD but seriously, what are the odds of a game you've been anticipitaing since the demo to be sent out to arrive on the exact day of your birthday, AND actually be sent out early?
So: happy birthday to me XD thank you, company who must've made a mistake. For me, you did things so perfectly it's simply amazing XD
(and let it be known the game is good. Suffering a bit from open-world syndrome (as in, you lose track of the story doing sidequests), but it gets reminded to you with the most amazing cutscenes I've ever seen. And the characters are FUN. I was sold by the intro because I laughed so much. I can't remember a FF ever making me laugh. XD)
This said, I did get some creativity done last week, got back on my Wii Fit (because I do look fat <<), and with December promising to be a filled month, I'm feeling kinda stressed. So, trying to distract myself from time-angst, gonna do some more creativity, kinda hoping to get an idea for chapter 3 of the story (and I've had ideas for 2, which basically means cut out some parts XD)
For now though, here is week 3 of Kassandra. Likely the most interesting week regarding her.
Kassandra Origin Story
Kassandra is definitely my oldest character. I've had her for close to 20 years, if I recall right. My first ever character was a Vampire named Nocturna whom I had commit suicide for a reason I forgot. Then I created Kassandra - and, in a way, all hell broke loose.
Back in them days, I was severely depressed (bullying'll do that to you). Broken individual with little personality (all I really had was a great love for games, which remained). I met someone online who became an incredibly close friend, and we created a chat RPG together with two more friends, and went on really random adventures. The friendship with her is what perdured for a few more years, and eventually died in what I can only define as verbal bloodbaths.
Fact is: we were both broken individuals. Though it brought us close at first, I think it is the reason it tore us apart eventually - because, as I worked on getting my issues sorted, I think it created issues on her side, as I was less online, less attached dare I say... Things deteriorated over time, moreso because she only wanted to roleplay with a single of my characters (which is Eglen) while I had tons more I wanted to roleplay. But she didn't seem to care. Understandably so as, before this all happened, I'd made her life hell roleplaying a whole lotta Kassandra. Those weren't good days. Basically, I put every negative emotion, every hate I had of the world (and certain people) into her, resulting in a character that was near well evil incarnate. These are days I regret. In hindsight, I completely understand how the friendship broke... I just wish she'd told me the truth. I still don't know the truth. I can only make assumptions based on observation and certain facts. I suppose the sad fact about it all is that she still hates me, after over 8 years... and I'm like: okay *shrug*.
The character I'd created to express all that pain has not changed much over the years. She is still evil, vindictive, manipulative, overall horrible. The difference is that there's a whole solid background explaining her personality now, complete with very deep wounds. She's the character I hate to love, and perhaps the one I know best for having her so long. Her personality greatly remained the same. She's still the one I turn to when I feel like crap, and writing horrible stuff with her at the forefront always makes me feel good. One could say she represents the worst in me, as she always has - it's her reason for existing after all! No other reason than that for her existence. She's devilish fun to write XD what makes her evil more interesting is that it has very strong reasons to exist - and those reasons make her far more human, and broken, than she'd ever admit she is.
A broken character for a broken individual - a humanly flawed character for a humanly flawed person. She and I have in common that we like to get our own way. She'll just get it with far more violence than I would XD
One may wonder: why keep such a character? I've personally never asked myself the question, though I've regretted ever creating her a few times. In time, with age, as personal pain became but a background noise, I dissociated the character from myself. She came to stand on her own two feet, and decided she was going to remain who she was. Certain bits of her background I kept, and adapted, which made for a character with far more depth (and personal issues). There are honestly some parts of her life that make me feel bad for her, despite how horrible she is. She wasn't born evil, even though she'd deny that. But then, she's the sort of evil who doesn't find herself evil. She relishes certain evil deeds, and they make sense within the past she no longer remembers. Whenever I write her, all I can feel is how broken she is... and that nothing, and no one, will ever be able to mend her. Too many betrayals. Not enough capacity to be good.
In that way, she makes me very sad. I guess I'm the only one who cares about her - well, me and her son. And she seriously doesn't understand why.
And that is all for Kassandra :)
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